The New Place

I’m writing this on August 31, 2024 - and I’m officially a resident of Calaveras County. Mountain Ranch, to be more specific. I have another month of splitting time between my new home and my old job (in Auburn); on October 1, I’ll be working and living down here. And I’m finding that I’m finally catching my breath. A bit.

Placer County’s population is around 429,000 people at the moment - the county has grown by 5.7% since 2020, and has 305 people per square mile. As I’ve written previously, Placer County more than doubled in population since we moved there in 1994. Calaveras County, by contrast, has a bit more than 46,000 residents. While it is also growing here (2.7% since 2020), the population density is just 46 people per square mile.

Statistics aside, my new place is much quieter than our old home. I’m about 14 miles from CA-49 (compared with less than one mile in Auburn). I have more space around me (I’m on 6 acres here, and all of the properties around me are of similar size). Fewer people means less traffic - far less traffic! I can see more stars at night!

When I was in college, a friend from Calaveras County joked that they “didn’t have any traffic lights, but they had the colors picked out!” Nearly 35 years later, I think Calaveras County now has 2 traffic lights (at least that I’ve seen - one in Angels Camp and one in Murphys). Compared to CA-49 in Auburn, this is definitely more my style!

The house itself is larger than our old place; larger than I need, if I’m honest. It boasts three bedrooms and bathrooms. I’m working on getting a wood stove installed in the next month or two, but it also has central air and heat. And a great covered deck! But the house isn’t what sold me on the property (at least not entirely). The 6 acres is mostly grassland (including some native grasses, important to a grass geek like me). And there are conifers! Ponderosa pines and incense cedars, not to mention black oaks, white oaks, and elderberries. I’m looking forward to having my sheep and mules here - I think they’ll like it too!

“Our old place.” “My place.” I guess this is the gist of what I’m trying to describe. Sami would have liked this place, I think - she’d have liked the bigger acreage, the wood floors, the light in the house. But we’d have never moved here. We’d have stayed in Auburn until both of us retired, I think - and then probably tried to move somewhere closer to both Lara and Emma. I’m trying to wrap my head around this.

Early on, I’m finding that the change in my physical space has helped me focus on the good memories of my life with Sami. The physical reminders of her illness and passing (all associated with “our old place”) are still present, but without the daily visual (and visceral) reminders, I find myself recalling happier times. I hope this continues. I’m not suggesting that anyone who loses a partner should move, but the move seems right to me. For now.

Last night, when I awoke in the darkness needing to make a trip to the bathroom, I was reminded something Ted Kluszewski (who played for the Cincinnati Reds) said (and which is painted on a wall at Oracle Park):

”How hard is hitting? You ever walk into a pitch-black room full of furniture that you’ve never been in before and try to walk through it without bumping into anything? Well, it’s harder than that.”

So is grieving. So is moving while you’re grieving. But I’m hoping that learning to walk through my pitch-black room (physical and emotional) will get easier as I adjust to living at my new place.